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Harsh reality: PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) triggers still poke us from time to time, no matter how much time and effort we’ve put into healing.

I recently attended a workshop where the focus was teaching trauma survivors tools to self-soothe and regulate emotionally when a triggering event occurs. 

When triggered emotionally, it can feel like way too much, like we’re carrying the weight of the world and all its pollution and pond scum. So I was surprised (and super freaking grateful) to learn so many simple things we can do to get back to baseline. 

The workshop introduced me to a trauma-informed psychologist (and so, so much more), Dr. Marie S. Dezelic, who has a private psychotherapy and coaching practice in South Florida. She wrote a book titled Trauma Treatment – Healing the Whole Person (Dezelic & Ghanoum, 2016), and the facilitator in the workshop referred to some of her work from the book, specifically on trauma and anxiety-related reactions.

We, eager workshop attendees, were introduced to the term “Window of Tolerance”, a topic Dr. Dezelic covers in her trauma treatment book and also in an invaluable handout on her website (seriously, you’d click that link if you knew what’s good for you). 

What’s The Window of Tolerance?

The Window of Tolerance, as I understand it, is our comfort zone where we feel safe, emotionally regulated, and able to self-soothe. Inside this safe zone, we are calm, connected to our bodies and the present moment, and can comfortably tolerate what is within it without being emotionally triggered. My grand takeaway? This Window of Tolerance starts small, and the goal is to expand this comfort zone little by little, using grounding tools to gradually minimize going into the triggered fight, flight, or freeze response.

For me, full-on introvert in the highest order, this zone is when I have quiet, there is an animal nearby to pet or watch, my hair isn’t blowing in my face, and if any human is around me at all, they are respectful and kind (funny, major bonus). 

Triggered

And then–BOOM–it happens: the PTSD/CPTSD trigger, trauma, dissociation event occurs. And it’s as if all that work I’ve put in with 12-step programs, therapy, books, and YouTube videos vanishes. My brain starts to spin out of control like those crazy-scary Merry-Go-Rounds from my childhood playgrounds–you know you’re gonna fly off of that thing, and just hope your head doesn’t hit a rock. For me, this trigger is most often caused by others lying, manipulating, and overstepping my boundaries (hello, big whopping betrayal wound).

For example, it can be as simple as a client in my business consistently calling the office after hours with “an emergency”. (Mind you, I’m not a doctor, psychologist, or plumber. And I’m definitely not Wonder Woman, at least not last I checked.) Without leaving a specific request in the message, she says she “needs to talk” to someone “right away”.

Even though I’ve learned this behavior is a manipulation tactic, and I silently repeat the mantra, “A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine,” this attempt to manipulate still triggers me. BIGLY. And I’m grateful to have these tools to use when this trauma dragon rears its nasty head.

When we were given a list of helpful tools in the workshop, there seemed to be a running theme: get back into the body and get into the present moment. Here are eight of the tools I learned that day that have helped me, and continue to help me, expand my Window of Tolerance, and get back to my peaceful place.

8 Tools to Quickly Get You Back to Your Peaceful Place

1. Take a Bathroom Break

Simply standing and taking a walk with a purpose to the bathroom, washroom, restroom, loo, powder room, lavatory, pisser, shitter–whatever the hell you want to call it–can shift your anxious, angry, tense, or frozen body from stewing in the muck to moving the body right smack into the present.

(Note: The best thing about this list is all of the following 7 tools can be used during said shitter break. So if you’re in a loud crowded restaurant and feeling triggered AF, have no fear, the tools are here.) 

2. Practice Mindful Breathing

Being mindful of our in-breaths and out-breaths can rock your world–in a good way, of course. When we are stressed or overwhelmed, we often don’t realize our breathing has become rapid and shallow. This rapid breathing can heighten our dysregulated emotional state. Ick, right?

I learned mindful breathing from the Master known as the “father of mindfulness”, Thich Nhat Hanh (English pronunciation is: Tik · N’yat · Hawn). If you need a little help with this technique, like understanding why and how to do it, I recommend looking into his teachings.

Here is a short-ish (~21 minutes) video of Thich Nhat Hanh teaching how to deal with strong emotions with mindful breathing:

3. Use the Water Grounding Technique

When triggered and dysregulated, a common reaction is to leave the present moment mentally. Fight, flight, or freeze kick in, and we are no longer anchored in our bodies, but instead reacting to the past or anxious about the future. Simply putting our hands in water and being aware of the sensations it brings, can bring us back into our bodies and back into the present moment. Quick three-step instructions on how to use this technique can be found here on the Trauma Research UK website. 

4. Use the 5 Senses to Be Present

Stop for a second. What objects and colors do you see? Can you hear birds, cars, a stream? Is there a specific taste in your mouth? What about a smell in the air? Are you holding anything or wearing anything that you can describe to yourself its texture? Silently naming these things will bring you right back into the moment, back to where you once belonged, sayeth The Beatles. 

5. Try Resource Body Tapping 

Laurel Parnell, PhD is a leading expert in EMDR and Resource Tapping, both highly effective modalities in healing and combatting PTSD/CPTSD triggers. If you haven’t heard of resource tapping, pop her name into the YouTube search bar and you’ll find a treasure trove of videos “tapping into” the subject (forgive me). As I understand it, the stimulation that occurs when tapping both sides of the body activates both hemispheres of the brain, creating a calming, “Beam me up, Scotty!”, here-I-am-in-the-present-moment effect.

Here’s a brief (less than 3 minutes!) guided lesson by Dr. Parnell on resource tapping to get back to your peaceful place when triggered. 

6. Ground Yourself by Wall Pushing

Now, this one surprised the hell out of me.

During the workshop, they had a few of us line up against a wall, facing it, and I thought to myself, “What the hell is this shit and why in front of all these damned people?” There I was, suddenly triggered in a trauma-healing workshop. Minimal, but still.

The facilitator had us place our hands, wide open, on the wall in front of us and asked us to push into the wall. First of all, it felt really good, ya’ll. Weird, I know. My arm and calf muscles were activated and that initial “What the hell?” trigger melted away like Frosty the friggin’ Snowman on a warm sunny day. Bye-bye, Frosty. I was suddenly back in my body, and no longer in 1st grade when Mr. Hoyt made me stand against the wall in front of the class and yell to the dog across the schoolyard “I want a carrot!” because I was “too shy”. (Yes, my friend. That was the exact memory that was triggered.)

Curious to try it? Let’s do this! I found this brief (under 2 Minutes!) instructional video on Wall Pushing by The Mindful Mama on YouTube to be super helpful:

7. Phone or Text Message a Trusted Ally

If you have a lifeline to a trusted loved one or professional who is supportive, trauma-informed, and understands you struggle with PTSD/CPTSD triggers, first: BE GRATEFUL. Second: use it, baby. Get your sassy little triggered ass up, grab your phone, and text away. “I’m so triggered right now.” Just typing that message or saying those words aloud to your trusty person will help bring you into the present moment.

You are not in front of the classroom with that shitass teacher Mr. Hoyt; you are sitting in the bathroom of a loud AF restaurant feeling overwhelmed and you need support. Don’t allow that trigger to make you feel guilty either. Knock that off, knock it off right now. You know you’d be more than happy to be there to support your friend if she were sitting on a toilet at Costco, texting you in the same predicament.

8. Repeat a Mantra

Repeating a mantra such as “That was then, this is now,” will help deliver you back to the present. It may seem silly if you haven’t done this before, but you know it’s true: we need to remind ourselves that what happened in the past was then, and what’s happening now is now. In the past we were different, we weren’t as self-aware, and perhaps were ignorant to the giant red flags parading all around us.

Keeping a little mantra like this in your back pocket, on a post-it note on your bathroom mirror, on your car’s dashboard, on your work computer, tattooed on your forehead (though I wouldn’t recommend that one) can un-stick your brain when past trauma wants to take over.

You can silently use your mantra while walking to and from your bathroom break, while running warm and cold water over your hands, or while sitting in your car after a stressful work or family event occurred. You can say it out loud over and over when walking around your home (the cat won’t mind, I promise). 

In Conclusion

These tools have all helped to broaden my Window of Tolerance, and expand my little comfort zone. A few weeks after this workshop, I realized I could sleep with a fan on–a simple thing I was never able to do as the sound of the fan was a PTSD trigger (for me). So there, a little wider it grew. Full disclosure: still working on the manipulative client bit.

I hope trying one or all of these tools will quickly get you back to your peaceful place after being triggered. I’d love to hear about it if you feel comfortable sharing.

Do you have any tools you’d like to share that have helped you to regulate your emotional response to a triggering event? Let’s hear it!